Gaza doctor recognised his own brother's body in the operating room, as trauma breaks health workers

Manar Fayyad, 29, is an anaesthesiologist at Al-Aqsa Martyrs Hospital in Deir el-Balah, Gaza. He has suffered severe psychological trauma since the start of Israel's war on Gaza in October 2023.

The turning point came when he was summoned into the operating room to administer anaesthesia to a critically injured man before emergency surgery. The man died before Fayyad could reach him. Fayyad said he recognised the man's clothes and had a strange feeling, so he approached and uncovered his face. To his shock, it was his own brother Shadi, who was 34. Shadi was killed in an Israeli air strike on December 27, 2023.

Fayyad said, 'He died before I could reach him.' Since then, the hospital has become inseparable from the traumatic memory. He has been unable to continue working, and his professional career has come to a premature end.

He continues to struggle with the psychological effects on his own, without professional help. He has withdrawn from social life and avoids people and noise. Sitting by the sea and writing offers him some solace. Yet he remains preoccupied with the idea of leaving Gaza, hoping distance might free him from the reminders of that day. Having lost his brother, his profession and much of his social life, Fayyad now faces a different battle: one against trauma that he is trying to confront alone.

Khaled Raafat, 29, a nurse in the emergency department at the same hospital, stepped away from work for an extended period after losing his wife, children, mother and several siblings in an Israeli air strike on his family home on October 18, 2023. He was at the hospital at the time, trying to save the lives of others injured that day.

Raafat said, 'Learning that I had lost my family marked a painful turning point in my life. I could no longer do my job in the same way. The hospital, once associated in my mind with my humanitarian duty, became a reminder of personal pain that was beyond what I could bear. It deeply affected my ability to continue my professional and social life.'

Raafat said he eventually decided to rebuild his life. 'I realised that life could not stop at the tragedy and that I had to find a way to carry on. I decided to work towards my psychological recovery, got married and started a new family in an attempt to regain stability and hope,' he said. 'I then returned to work at the hospital.'

According to Gaza's Government Media Office, at least 1,700 medical personnel have been killed in Israeli attacks during the war, while 83 healthcare workers remain in Israeli detention.

A study on the strain on medical workers in Gaza, published in the Public Library of Science, found that 41 percent reported losing family members and 46 percent had experienced both personal bereavement and displacement from their workplaces. At least 78 percent of healthcare workers in Gaza lacked access to mental health services.

Munir al-Bursh, director general of Gaza's Ministry of Health, said, 'They are caught between their professional duty to save lives and the pain of losing the people closest to them. They find themselves treating others' wounds while struggling to heal their own.' He said working under constant pressure without adequate support or rest deepens exhaustion and threatens healthcare workers' ability to continue. 'Protecting medical personnel is not just about securing medicines and equipment. It also means safeguarding their mental health and giving them time to rest and recover. Those who save others also need someone to reach out and help them,' he said.

Hiba al-Tawil, 39, a nurse in the intensive care unit at the Nasser Medical Complex in Khan Younis, witnessed her brother's death in the unit where she worked. 'Losing my brother at my workplace was a difficult experience that had a profound psychological impact on me,' she said. 'Being in the intensive care unit afterwards reminded me of what had happened and made it harder to cope with the loss.' She later transferred to another department, which helped ease the psychological pressure.

The psychological clinic at that complex treats doctors and nurses struggling with trauma caused by bereavement and their experiences during the war. Reham Abu Rokba, a psychologist at the complex, said treatment begins with assessing the patient's psychological condition, diagnosing symptoms and determining their impact before developing a treatment plan. For patients with post-traumatic stress disorder, treatment may include cognitive behavioural therapy. Depending on the patient's needs, treatment may involve about 12 individual sessions and, when necessary, medication. 'Recovery requires time and ongoing participation in psychological support sessions,' she said. 'Providing the appropriate treatment and ensuring adherence to it can help alleviate symptoms and lead to tangible improvements in an individual's mental wellbeing.'